Friday Night Fanfiction - The Archives

Season 3 Episode 26 – Season 3 Bonus Fan Episode

Nighthorse Media — Fri, 06 May 2016 22:53:39 +0000

Fanfics read: as tightly as you held on to me (by chokingontheirhalos) Batman vs Echo (by Puddintater) Culmination (by Salmon_Pink) Free Willy – Champion of the Sea (by Andy Prosser) kamen rider AMERICA (by lazulisong) No Lies (by hagwiggle) Solid as a Rock (by KingAlanI) Strange New Worlds (by pluto) take and give (by venvephe) What A Catch (by kimberly_wolf)

Readers: Stevo, Disambiguity, Shawn, Afrobear, LackofSense, Mana, SymPhoenix, Tehmsu, Val

Even in the worst of circumstances, we can find something magical. Such was the case on one Wednesday evening, as the FNF hosts were preparing for the show, many weather stations announced a massive, windy storm that would cause much damage and loss of electricity. Stevo, ever the cautious showrunner, called off the recording for the night and released the FNF hosts to do their own thing. The skies grew dark and then…

Nothing happened.

There was no wind, no rain, and it was only dark because the sun set. It was a huge letdown, and left Stevo frustrated and many fans who didn’t get the message were still hanging in the Discord chat. So, in his frustration, Stevo went into the Discord to hang with people and relax. And, out of habit, they started reading fanfiction. So, of course, Stevo started recording and then Val showed up for some reason.

Thus was the saga of the first ever Friday Night Fanfiction fan episode, which may become a regular feature. We read a lot of great, short stories (listed below) and it basically saved our sanity in the midst of the longfic for Season 3. Thanks to those who randomly were around and read with us on a non-horrible weather night.

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Season 3 Episode 25 – We’re All Butt Pregnant

Nighthorse Media — Thu, 24 Mar 2016 22:49:47 +0000

Fanfics read: Is It Pretending If I Already Want You (by OhCaptainMyCaptain)

Readers: David, Logan, Stevo

WE DID IT! WE FINISHED IT! Last episode we concluded the core story of our season finale longfic: “Is It Pretending If I Already Want You” a Captain America / Bucky story by OhCaptainMyCaptain and in this episode we wrap the epilogue where we were surprised to find… The most graphic sex of the entire frickin’ story! We’re done! We got through the whole damn thing! WE’RE ON VACATION UNTIL MID MAY!

Thanks to all our guests, fans, cohosts, and authors during this incredibly awesome season. We love you all, and we’ll see you when we get back. BUY A T-SHIRT, WON’T CHA?!

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Season 3 Episode 24 – One the Milk-ee, the Other the Milk-er

Nighthorse Media — Fri, 18 Mar 2016 22:48:10 +0000

Fanfics read: Is It Pretending If I Already Want You (by OhCaptainMyCaptain)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Val, Tony Referee: Val

The season finale longfic reading of the Captain America/ Bucky tale “Is It Pretending If I Already Want You” by OhCaptainMyCaptain concludes! Yes, you heard us right: WE FINISHED THE CORE STORY! We did it, reddit! We did iiiiiiiiiit!

Tony of Nerdy Show lends his many and varied voices as we finish the last chapter proper and begin reading the story’s epilogues. There’s not much left to say besides… things are awkward in the most wonderful ways, and we go on many wild tangents just like the OCAD days of old. Arguments over Stevo being a fat baby and sugary delectables abound!

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Season 3 Episode 23 – Athlete’s Foot in Your Butt

Nighthorse Media — Fri, 11 Mar 2016 22:47:08 +0000

Fanfics read: Is It Pretending If I Already Want You (by OhCaptainMyCaptain)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Flik, Cyril the Wolf Referee: Val

The season finale longfic reading of the Captain America/ Bucky tale “Is It Pretending If I Already Want You” by OhCaptainMyCaptain continues!

There’s a party. Someone is using homophobic slurs against our main protagonist. There’s almost a fight, but then there isn’t. Then the magical healing cock is finally revealed. We are only THIRTY PAGES AWAY FROM THE END. THE PAIN IS REAL.

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Season 3 Episode 22 – Fish Cereal

Nighthorse Media — Fri, 04 Mar 2016 22:45:55 +0000

Fanfics read: Is It Pretending If I Already Want You (by OhCaptainMyCaptain)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Troy, Matt, Val, Tehmsu, Shawn, Mana, Joe, SirSplee Referee: Val

The season finale longfic reading of the Captain America/ Bucky tale “Is It Pretending If I Already Want You” by OhCaptainMyCaptain continues! This episode… was a tough one to get out, but we pressed hard and squeezed it through! Thrill as we pursue Cap and Buck’s post-coital relationship some more and suffer through internal dialog while they prepare for an anniversary party or something.

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Season 3 Episode 21 – A Triforce of Crisps

Nighthorse Media — Fri, 26 Feb 2016 22:44:50 +0000

Fanfics read: Is It Pretending If I Already Want You (by OhCaptainMyCaptain)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Val, Cap Referee: Val

The season finale longfic reading of the Captain America/ Bucky tale “Is It Pretending If I Already Want You” by OhCaptainMyCaptain continues! In this episode… we’re joined by Nerdy Show‘s Cap and more importantly… WE FOUND THE SEX!!!!!!!!!!!!

…No orgasm yet, though. Seriously, it took us this long and we still haven’t cum. Goobers.

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Season 3 Episode 20 – Rolling Brown-Out

Nighthorse Media — Thu, 11 Feb 2016 21:35:52 +0000

Fanfics read: Is It Pretending If I Already Want You (by OhCaptainMyCaptain)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Mana, Deven Referee: Val

The season finale longfic reading of the Captain America/ Bucky tale “Is It Pretending If I Already Want You” by OhCaptainMyCaptain continues! In this episode… We almost had the sex. WE ALMOST HAD THE SEX.

We are literally inches away from the sex now, its so close we can taste the lube and raging boners. But no. No, we didn’t get the sex. We got more of Bucky’s backstory about his alcoholism and his arm and him being a whiny pissant to all his friends because he refuses to believe Steve in interested in him and it’s like, “OH MY GOD IS THIS A SHOW ON THE WB IN THE MID 90’S?!”

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Season 3 Episode 19 – Splinterdick

Nighthorse Media — Fri, 05 Feb 2016 21:34:56 +0000

Fanfics read: Is It Pretending If I Already Want You (by OhCaptainMyCaptain)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Wolfboy, Manny Referee: Val

The season finale longfic reading of the Captain America/ Bucky tale “Is It Pretending If I Already Want You” by OhCaptainMyCaptain continues! Same story as last time, same stuff as last time. Shenanigans were had. No sex was witnessed. We’re growing desperate. We may just have to start resorting to Sears advertisements for sexual stimulation.

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Season 3 Episode 18 – We’re Up All Night To Fuck Bucky

Nighthorse Media — Fri, 29 Jan 2016 21:33:53 +0000

Fanfics read: Is It Pretending If I Already Want You (by OhCaptainMyCaptain)

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, D-LUCKS, IceAbyzz Referee: Val

Here in FNF Central we’ve got more fluff than a pillow factory as we venture farther into the teenage sitcom-drama of our season finale longfic, “Is It Pretending If I Already Want You” by OhCaptainMyCaptain. We yell at the characters to do something, because it’s obvious they’re going to be courting and mating by the end of the story, but we have to go through so much inner high school pain that we all actually returned to high school today by accident.

Ugh.

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Season 3 Episode 17 – Magical Healing Cock

Nighthorse Media — Fri, 15 Jan 2016 21:32:32 +0000

Fanfics read: Is It Pretending If I Already Want You (by OhCaptainMyCaptain)

Readers: Stevo, Logan, Sam, Shawn, Steve

At long last – we finally get to the meat and potatoes and/or stuffing of Season 3: the longfic! That’s a piece of fan fiction that’s a true journey; lasting multiple episodes. This time, we have a riveting, action-packed adventure featuring Marvel’s greatest her- wait, no. It’s an alternate universe fic featuring Steve Rodgers and James Barnes (aka Captain America and his pal Bucky!) getting in a faux romance to ward off Buckey’s overbearing family during a vacation. Presenting: “Is It Pretending If I Already Want You” by OhCaptainMyCaptain.

This thing is fluffy. Very fluffy. This is a friggin’ fluff FACTORY. We’re going to make it though. We know there’s sex. We know it’s worth it. This isn’t like the Season 2 debacle – we know that some way, some how there’s going to be a big phallic volcano that we can toss our golden penis-ring onto as magical eagles made of boobs come rescue us or something.

Let us begin to get there and back again something something hobbits.

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Season 3 Episode 16 – Clitorary Masterpieces

Nighthorse Media — Thu, 07 Jan 2016 21:30:01 +0000

Fanfics read: Carl’s Fricken’ Ninja Adventure Redux (by Joe Kid)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Beth, Erik, Val Referee: Val

In this special episode (which episode of FNF isn’t considered special by some form of the definition?), we read “Carl’s Fricken’ Ninja Adventure” by Joe Kid. This Naruto X Aqua Teen Hunger Force fic has been taken and morphed into a screenplay-style reading, with specific characters being given to each person to read as. We join the ATHF as they’re all sucked into the Naruto universe, where…well, you know how these things go!

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Season 3 Episode 15 – Counch Bounch

Nighthorse Media — Fri, 01 Jan 2016 21:28:32 +0000

Fanfics read: Steevo’s therapy shows improvement (by tehmsu) It’s a Jungle Down There (by Warwick_Daedalus) VriskaxEridan POV (by HimedesReves)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Mana Referee: Val

In this, our last episode of 2015, we finish three stories, completing one from last time. First, we get some erotic poetry on in “It’s a Jungle Down There” by Warick_Daedalus, which goes into unnecessary detail as to the sexual habits of the animals inhabiting the Donkey Kong Country universe.

Then, we finish up the fan-chapters for “Sonic in the Search for Love” (aka “Steevo’s Therapy Shows Improvement“) by Tehmsu. It was worse than we expected.

Finally, we read our first slice of Homestuck porn (nobody on the show has ever seen or read or done anything with Homestuck): “VriskaxEridan POV” by HimedesReves aka Mana, who came on to help share what she enjoyed about the series when she was in middle school. We still know basically nothing about Homestuck even after this.

2015 was our first full year of being a show dedicated to rotten fanfiction, and we’d like to thank everyone involved in The Nerdy Show Network, especially Cap, boR, all the members of the other shows, and particularly the Patreon supporters and donating fans. To everyone who has walked with us in 2015 through the dreck and mire of terrible fanfiction, we say thank you and look forward to another horrendous year together in 2016.

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Season 3 Episode 14 – Rigorous Karate

Nighthorse Media — Fri, 18 Dec 2015 21:19:37 +0000

Fanfics read: Phoneix Wright in Guardians of the Ring Fellowship of the Story Steevo’s therapy shows improvement (by tehmsu)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Tom, Symphoenix, Tehmsu

In this very, very special episode of FNF, one of the most world renowned writers of bad fanfiction comes on and not only reads with us, but also WROTE A STORY SPECIFICALLY FOR US TO READ! Tom, also know as Peter Chimaera, mentally assaults the FNF crew with his terrible fanfic mashup of legendary proportions called “Phoneix Wright in Guardians of the Ring Fellowship of the Story“. There are more characters and crossovers than we can count but oh man, it’s quite the ride.

After we devoured that mythical dreck, we revisit something that we thought would remain buried forever. Somehow, some way, Tehmsu revived one of our worst nightmares. We started reading more of what nearly killed us last time.

We’re back to “Sonic in the Search for Love“.

May Eggman have mercy on us all.

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Season 3 Episode 13 – My Libido: Have You Seen It? Please Give It Back.

Nighthorse Media — Fri, 11 Dec 2015 21:17:19 +0000

Fanfics read: Martin, Alone. (by baratron) PKORP.com The Problem with Eggnog, Uncommon Thoughts, and Sharing a Bed with Sirius Black (by xylodemon)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Ice, Cap

In this episode we discuss urgent sociopolitical matters, global warming, the true meaning of Christmas, and finally found out where Jimmy Hoffa was buried!

No, not really. We just read more fanfic.

Our motley crew of hosts and guests are joined by Nerdy Show‘s Cap and we begin this week’s spiritual journey by reading the Google translated terms of service agreement from PKORP.com. Watch out, folks. This rabbit hole goes DEEP. You may not come back entirely sane here. (Follow along with the translation here.)

After that, we interlude to some much-needed me-time with the ongoing erotic adventures in the world of The Elder Scrolls in “Martin, Alone” by baratron. It features Martin. He’s alone. He’s still the ruler of Oblivion or whatever. He spends his time fantasizing and fondling his Kvatch.

Finally, we sample some erotic holiday Potter-fic and the awkward morning-after interactions of “The Problem with Eggnog, Uncommon Thoughts, and Sharing a Bed with Sirius Black” by xylodemon. Behold, how not one of us can do a passable British accent!

We’re still looking for our libidos. They’re out there, somewhere. *Musical interlude*

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Season 3 Episode 12 – Higher Educacy

Nighthorse Media — Thu, 03 Dec 2015 21:14:56 +0000

Fanfics read: Where the Heart Is (by Alixtii)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Manny, Kunal Referee: Val

Ah, Folgers: good to the last drop. Wait – that’s Maxwell House.

Well, that makes sense then, because in this episode we finish the inexplicable Folgers commercial fanfic we started last episode and it is not good. Nope, nope, nope. We bravely marathon through the rest of Alixtii’s “Where the Heart Is” and all the sister-banging, cousin-infatuation, and crunchy t-shirt wholesomeness you’d expect. We can’t WAIT until Luke goes back to West Africa.

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Season 3 Episode 11 – The Philipino Taquito

Nighthorse Media — Thu, 26 Nov 2015 21:13:47 +0000

Fanfics read: Where the Heart Is (by Alixtii)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Sam, Roy Referee: Val

Friday Night Fanfic returns to take everyone home for the holidays from five years in West Africa where apparently our sister has grown up and is in prime condition for DRINKING A NICE HOT CUP OF FOLGERS COFFEE.

In this episode: “Where the Heart Is” by Alixtii; taking sentimental seasonal commercials to their logical conclusions. Come chomp this savory, /34/ taquito.

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Season 3 Episode 10 – Propalix: Is It The Right Drug For You?

Nighthorse Media — Fri, 13 Nov 2015 21:12:29 +0000

Fanfics read: Defiling the Emperor (by baratron) Taking the Nine in Vain (by baratron)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Tony, Jeff Ball, Valerie Referee: Valerie

Join the FNF crew, with special guests, Nerdy Show‘s Tony Baldini and soundtrack composer Jeff Ball! They help us on our quest to read two connected stories by fanfic author baratron set in the wonderful land of The Elder Scrolls, specifically Oblivion. Join us for some ear-nibbling, rim-jobbing good fun!

The story? Martin Septim, illegitimate son of Emperor Uriel Septim, and O.C. Alix de Feu are bumping their donguses together. That’s basically it. There’s some attempt at plot (very good attempt in fact), and this fanfic actually used words properly and some words that we didn’t even know! THE TABLES HAVE TURNED! FANFIC IS TEACHING US THINGS! PLEASE HELP!

The two tales, “Taking the Nine in Vain” and “Defiling the Emperor” definitely contain some main quest spoilers, so read on with caution if you are one of the three people who have yet to play through the game.

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Season 3 Episode 9 – Futanari Ferrari Sex Drive

Nighthorse Media — Fri, 06 Nov 2015 21:09:27 +0000

Fanfics read: Final Futanari XIII (by Kid) Steamy Kitchen (by TheTicketCollector)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Lucas, Garret Referee: Val

Well, we knew we’d have to go back to the Futa, and back to the Final Fantasy, and this time it’s been wound together tighter than a housewife’s sex knot. “Final Futanari XIII” by Kid delivers exactly what it’s title implies.

After that, we dip into Tim Burton’s Hot Topic-ified IP, The Nightmare Before Christmas in “Steamy Kitchen” by TheTicketCollector. It honestly could have been way worse, but it was still pretty uncomfortable.

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Season 3 Episode 8 – Get Ogre Yourself

Nighthorse Media — Fri, 30 Oct 2015 21:07:04 +0000

Fanfics read: The Tamanegi Saga (By Android 20 Cerra)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Val, Cyril, Deven Referee: Val

The thrilling conclusion, to the Dragon Ball Z journey we began last episode. It’s true, all 195 separate 25 minute episodes have been compressed into two handy-dandy 2 hour podcasts! “The Tamanegi Saga” by Android 20 Cerra concludes!

Join us as the runaway train switches tracks like crazy. After Piccolo gets his power boost, he bends the genders of the universe and forms a fleshlight to engage Vegeta with… and then Shrek shows up and starts turning everyone into zombies with onion eyes and… Well, it’s best we not spoil anymore. Cyril and Deven from OCAD classic grace us with their presence as we struggle valiantly to tame the oniony madness!

SHREK IS LOVE. SHREK IS LIFE.

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Season 3 Episode 7 – True Love is Elbow Deep

Nighthorse Media — Thu, 22 Oct 2015 21:05:56 +0000

Fanfics read: The Tamanegi Saga (By Android 20 Cerra)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Trench, Tony

In this first part of two, Nerdy Show‘s Trench and Tony join the FNF crew as they sit down to revisit a beloved animated universe: Dragon Ball Z. The adventures of Goku, Gohan, Krillin, Piccolo, Bulma, Vegeta, and good ol’ panty-lovin’ Master Roshi have thrilled legions of devoted fans through their storied journeys on the inked page and the boob tube. A lot of material must have been cut out because what we have here is some pretty nasty, preggo-humping, ki-boosting ridiculousness.

In “The Tamanegi Saga” by Android 20 Cerra, we learn that Gohan and his wife Videl have a baby on the way. Videl gets in the mood for dat summertime loving and Gohan jumps at the chance. And what luck! Bro gets a power level increase from the unborn child, and that’s only the start of where things go off the rails.

Watch out for Piccolo’s french fry appendage!

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Season 3 Episode 6 – BEEP. BOOP.

Nighthorse Media — Thu, 15 Oct 2015 21:01:26 +0000

Fanfics read: The Long Way Out (by Jayrich) Cyborg Beyoncé vs Zombie Paula Deen (by addykins) Is it incest if you’re a robot (by The_Devilman_K)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Squall, Shawn Referee: Val

Wow, this week is a marathon session: finishing one story, and slammed through two others. We wrap up Jayrich’s “The Long Way Out” (it wasn’t long enough, or rather, it wasn’t as long as Spud’s member is implied in the story). We also found out apparently Jake’s grandfather starred in some racy stuff with mermaids when he was a younger old man. Fancy.

After that, we breezed through addykins’ “Cyborg Beyoncé vs. Zombie Paula Deen“. This went about as well as you would have expected it to go: everyone was dead, then there was possibly a war with everyone who wasn’t dead, and Paula Deen was made of butter and Beyoncé crushed the hopes of little girls. Surprisingly, it was better than every Super Bowl halftime show for the last decade.

And Finally, we descended into the erotic, incesty world of “Is It Incest if You’re a Robot?” by The_Devilman_K. Spoiler alert: the answer, unequivocally, is yes.

Beep boop. Sniff.

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Season 3 Episode 5 – Fluff Me

Nighthorse Media — Thu, 08 Oct 2015 20:59:17 +0000

Fanfics read: Metroid High School (by 111SAMUSRIDLEY4EVA2006-chan) The Long Way Out (by Jayrich)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, and RANDOM ENCOUNTER: Jackson, Kit, Moose, Rook

Every end is a new beginning’s…uh, beginning! In this jam-packed episode, members of the band Random Encounter (Jackson, Kit, Moose, and Rook) join the Friday Night Fanfiction crew in finishing “Metroid High School” by 111SAMUSRIDLEY4EVA2006-chan and starting “The Long Way Out” by Jayrich.

“Metroid High School” ends with an all out war: a cameo appearance by a previous president, more cholera, and a doctor showing up in a sports car. Yeah, it was that kind of reading. However, “The Long Way Out” took our temporary G rating and smashed it into a hard R (and I do mean hard). This story, which is based on the obscure Disney show Jake Long American Dragon, feels like a spiritual sequel to “Rated F: A Phineas and Ferb Sex Comedy“. There’s trolls and leprechauns and lots of fluffing going on. Lolbooty.

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Season 3 Episode 4 – It’s Just The Cholera

Nighthorse Media — Thu, 01 Oct 2015 20:56:58 +0000

Fanfics read: Metroid High School (by 111SAMUSRIDLEY4EVA2006-chan)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Tehmsu, Wolfboy

Oh dear. Oh dear, what have we wished upon ourselves? After wrapping up theJak and Daxter story, is this really our reward? Is this the light at the end of that tunnel? Because this light is made of poop, and the tunnel is also made of poop.

This is “Metroid High School” by 111SAMUSRIDLEY4EVA2006-chan. Written in the same vein as “Brewdening Love” and “My Immortal”, this one takes on the Metroid franchise as if it were in…well, high school. And it’s terrible. There’s “praegnancies”, and cholera, and “fottballs”, and a whole lot of Principal Gunpei Yokoi for some reason. Put your “Seamus Helmets” on and get ready to do some “blackhacking” in the first entry of this two-parter!

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Season 3 Episode 3 – Captain Spankit

Nighthorse Media — Thu, 24 Sep 2015 20:54:57 +0000

Fanfics read: Precursors & Dark Makers (by xax)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Roy, Sir Splee, Steve Referee: Val

We finish off the Jak and Daxter fic, “Precursors and Dark Makers” by xax. We… We don’t even know anymore. There’s a lot of tentacles, and there’s eco, and its light and dark, and the sentences run on sometimes, and somehow Captain Spankit saves the day or something. It was weird. But we FINISHED IT!

Yay.

Go us.

;_;

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Season 3 Episode 2 – Raised by a Seesaw

Nighthorse Media — Fri, 18 Sep 2015 20:53:09 +0000

Fanfics read: Precursors & Dark Makers (by xax)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Roy, Shawn, Valron, Val Referee: Val

Welcome to part one of a two-parter Jak and Daxter fic, “Precursors and Dark Makers” by xax. What are Dark Makers? Well, they’re Dark, and they Make stuff. Jak eJakulates Light Eco, while Dark Makers do Dark Eco. Yes, it’s as painful as it sounds.

In fact, xax’s story is so gruelingly repetitive that it practically negates the horrible, tentacle-y slug semen grossness and whatever violence it has in store for us. It takes masterful writing to do that to subject matter this horrible, but by Jove, xax does it.

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Season 3 Episode 1 – Hakuna Frittata

Nighthorse Media — Fri, 11 Sep 2015 20:49:35 +0000

Fanfics read: Hercules.txt.txt (by some crazy fan) Savage Savanha (by Lorenzomnomnom and NewRosswell) Split Banana (by JoeHundredaire)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Roy Referee: Val

WE’RE BACK! Our summer break has ended and now, we celebrate with three stories for our inaugural outing.

First: “Hercules.TXT.TXT“, a recap a fan for us for a friend of theirs who refused to experience the Hercules fic from Season Two. It went about as we as you would expect. WE DID IT, REDDIT! WE DID IT!

Next up, two of our most loveliest, dedicatedest fans wrote a Left 4 Dead 2 slash Lion King fic called “Savage Savannah“. This masterpiece was penned by Lorenzomnomnom and NewRosswell post by post, similar to how “A Tale of Two Minecrafts” was written back in the day. While not quite terrible OR erotic, it was a ruining of both properties and the musical number in the middle had to be cut due to copyright reasons. (Don’t sue us, Disney. PLEASE.)

And finally… “Split Banana“. A wonderful erotic crossover of X-Men and Buffy the Vampire Slayer by JoeHundredaire, in which Xander gets up to make a midnight snack but ends up losing more calories than he gained… If you know what I’m saying!

HAKUNA FRITTATA, Y’ALL!

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Season 2 Episode 23 – This Story is as Funny as Larry the Cable Guy

Nighthorse Media — Thu, 30 Jul 2015 20:37:46 +0000

Fanfics read: Larry the Cable Guy goes to Equestria (by kickass222urmom)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Roy, Val Referee: Val

And so season 2 of Friday Night Fanfiction concludes. The nightmare longfic “Mahou Shoujo Kaleido Amethyst” is behind us (see below for links to all seven parts). And so, to celebrate, we end this romp reflecting on highlights from the season and a Larry the Cable Guy/ My Little Pony fic: “Larry the Cable Guy Goes to Equestria” by Kickass222urmom.

We’ll be back with Season 3, recording the first Monday in September! More stories! MORE ACTUAL SEX! Clowns! We have no clue what’s in store! But don’t fret, all through August we’ll be releasing another classic from the good ol’ OCAD days: “Solaceon Daycare’s Excellent Adventure”!

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Season 2 Episode 22 – White Castle and Lubricant

Nighthorse Media — Fri, 24 Jul 2015 20:33:35 +0000

Fanfics read: Mahou Shoujo Kaleido Amethyst (by kijin666) Harry Potter, Sex Fiend (by Lokifan) Sharp (by thingsarequeer)

Readers: Stevo, Val, David, Roy, Steve, tehmsu Referee: Val

WE FINISHED MAHOU SHOJOU! It was extremely uneventful. No, seriously. This was not worth it. No aspect of kijin666’s Harry Potter and Fate/stay night crossfic was worth the time we wasted. This was AWFUL. No payoff. So little sex. So much filler material. We’re actually am very upset about this. WHERE IS THE CATHARSIS?! WHERE IS THE RELIEF?! This fic literally cock blocked the Internet.

To celebrate, we read two other fics as well. First is “Harry Potter, Sex Fiend” by Lokifan. It was not pleasant. Lots of smacks and slaps and shit. And then we read “Sharp” by thingsarequeer, which was about Xena. It was also not pleasant. Knives are not good for sexual play, folks, not matter how nutzo you are.

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Season 2 Episode 21 – Everybody is Beef Jerky

Nighthorse Media — Fri, 17 Jul 2015 20:31:41 +0000

Fanfics read: Mahou Shoujo Kaleido Amethyst (by kijin666) The Lusting Beard (by Mannypedia and nodachie)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Roy, Mannypedia, nodachie, Garret Referee: Val

But before we learned that horrifying truth on our quest to the end of “Mahou Shoujo Kaleido Amethyst” – kijin666’s painful Harry Potter and Fate/stay night crossfic. Guest readers Mannypedia and nodachie cobbled together a homemade fic just for Stevo and about Stevo during last week’s episode. They titled it “The Lustful Beard“, and were gracious enough to come on and read it with us while Stevo delivered his own lines. David also did lines, but Stevo would rather forget that performance in all its intimate detail. Old pal Garret also returned to the show for first time since Season One! It was a doozie.

Then we actually got to the sex, and it was like two pages long, and totally not worth it IN. THE. LEAST.

*flips desk, and chairs, and house*

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Season 2 Episode 20 – Everyone Has a Stat Sheet, Except Logan

Nighthorse Media — Fri, 10 Jul 2015 20:27:59 +0000

Fanfics read: Mahou Shoujo Kaleido Amethyst (by kijin666)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Roy, Brad, Josh, Sam, Kunal Referee: Stevo-ish

The nightmare never ends! Join us for our continued crusade thorough our supremely awful season finale story: “Mahou Shoujo Kaleido Amethyst” by kijin666 – a crossfic of Harry Potter and Japanese visual novel Fate/stay night. IS THERE SEX YET? NOPE!

Yes, it’s true. We’re rotting our brains away with this supposedly smutty fanfic and there’s not even any porny moments yet. Join in on our torture and drink the pain away with us.

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Season 2 Episode 19 – Taco Airhorn

Nighthorse Media — Thu, 02 Jul 2015 20:26:59 +0000

Fanfics read: Mahou Shoujo Kaleido Amethyst (by kijin666)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Roy, Sir Splee, Steve Referee: Val Another boozey bender through our shockingly sexless season finale*: “Mahou Shoujo Kaleido Amethyst” by kijin666 – a crossfic of Harry Potter and Japanese visual novel Fate/stay night. It’s truly astounding how little sex there is. If beating off in front of a nurse does something for you, we’ve got that for ya. We’ve also got the notion that Harry Potter is feminine. Message revived kijin666. Thanks.

“Where’s the entertainment value?” you ask. Simple, friend: our torture. Please delight in the suffering. We do it all for you.

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Season 2 Episode 18 – Count de Foothump

Nighthorse Media — Thu, 25 Jun 2015 20:25:38 +0000

Fanfics read: Sex Guides and FAQ – Dolphin Sex Mahou Shoujo Kaleido Amethyst (by kijin666)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Roy, Shawn, Steve, Wolfboy Referee: None/Stevo

In this episode we take a much-needed break from our sexless season finale fic “Melon Bamboo Kortana Tenderkiss“, or whatever its called, by kijin666 (a crossfic of Harry Potter and Japanese visual novel Fate/stay night). Before we get back to that mess, we read “Dolphins: FAQ on Mating” by intrepid sex scholar Dragon-wolfe Dolphinn, from the now-defunct resource dolphinsex.org. For all of you aspiring zoophiles, you’ll find mounds and humps of useful knowledge. Just be sure to duck out of the way of the load, it’ll hit you like a freight train.

Also, Vegeta is the most important character in existence. Everyone should be Vegeta.

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Season 2 Episode 17 – Nerds and a BJ

Nighthorse Media — Fri, 19 Jun 2015 20:21:53 +0000

Fanfics read: Mahou Shoujo Kaleido Amethyst (by kijin666)

Readers: Stevo, David, Roy, and the Flame ON! crew: Bryan, Adam, Jeff, and BJ Referee: Val

We’re deep into our season finale longfic “Mahou Shoujo Kaleido Amethyst” by kijin666 – a crossfic of Harry Potter and Japanese visual novel Fate/stay night. And, not unlike a JRPG journey, we’ve encountered some new party members to help us on our quest. We’re joined by Bryan, Adam, Jeff, and BJ from Nerdy Show‘s all-gay, all-geek podcast, Flame ON! to help us make this rousing rendition of kijin666’s bastard fanfic more A-rousing.

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Season 2 Episode 16 – ZelBARF

Nighthorse Media — Fri, 12 Jun 2015 20:20:59 +0000

Fanfics read: Mahou Shoujo Kaleido Amethyst (by kijin666)

Readers: Stevo, David, Roy, Shawn, Steve, tehmsu Referee: Val

We continue our trooping through our season finale longfic “Mahou Shoujo Kaleido Amethyst” by kijin666 – a crossfic of Harry Potter and Japanese visual novel Fate/stay night. It took ages, but we finally hit some sexy stuff this time. And yet… not even poorly written, poorly conceived lovemaking can sooth the pain. Only a few 100,000 words to go…

ARE WE DONE YET ARE WE DONE YET ARE WE DONE YET ARE WE DONE YET ARE WE DONE YET AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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Season 2 Episode 15 – Electric Windmill Car

Nighthorse Media — Fri, 05 Jun 2015 20:19:48 +0000

Fanfics read: Mahou Shoujo Kaleido Amethyst (by kijin666)

Readers: Stevo, David, Roy, Shawn, Deven, Manny, Tony Referee: NONE!

Season 2’s epic epoch of longfic begins here! Season One’s longfic, “Sonic in the Search for Love” nearly killed us. This time around,we’re hoping things will be better. [Spoiler Alert: One episode in and… NOPE.] This wretched endurance test is a wonderful crossover that has inception-level references. It doesn’t just cross the streams between Harry Potter and the Japanese visual novel Fate/Stay Night. No, we’re not that lucky. It’s a crossover of Harry Potter and someone’s 930,000 word long Fate/Stay Night fanfiction. Presenting: “Mahou Shoujo Kaleido Amethyst” by kijin666.

There are not enough curse words in all of the languages on Earth combined to express the rage. Guest readers include: newcomer Manny joins Shawn, Deven, and Nerdy Show‘s Tony!

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Season 2 Episode 14 – Everyone is Carl, Except for Meatwad

Nighthorse Media — Thu, 28 May 2015 20:17:55 +0000

Fanfics read: Rated F A Phineas and Ferb Sex Comedy (by GeorgeGlass) Sweat (by Commander)

Readers: Stevo, David, Roy, Val, Spencer, Steve, Evan, Sir Splee Referee: Val

Every season of Friday Night Fanfiction, we close out by reading and epic longfic over the course of multiple episodes. It’s a profound test of fortitude. This is the calm before the storm: the last shortfic session. Before we dive into our longfic abyss with Harry Potter and Fate/stay night, we have this. THIS. This….actually, pretty awesomely written Phineas and Ferb fanfic by GeorgeGlass called “Rated F: A Phineas and Ferb Sex Comedy“.

It’s hilarious as long as you forget how freaking underage these characters are. (Though the story certainly tried to remind you every so often.) Join us for a tag-team guest line-up of readers. And since we had a few extra minutes, we indulged in some nostalgiacide by reading a Darkwing Duck fanfic by Commander called “Sweat” which explores creative applications for Liquidator’s water powers on Drake Mallard’s ward, Gosalyn.

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Season 2 Episode 13 – Feminist Activism NOW!

Nighthorse Media — Thu, 21 May 2015 20:16:01 +0000

Fanfics read: Forbidden Nature (by lia200304) Metal Fixation (by CamiSoul) Spider-man vs Santa Claus (by ComicsNix) NerdyShow Forum Spam

Readers: Stevo, David, Roy, Val, Steve, Shawn, Sam Referee: Val Oh boy, this one was a doozie. Five readings in a single night, and our first reading of something other than fanfiction! Sam, Steve, and Shawn join a Logan-less FNF to grind through a ridiculous amount of text. First up, some forum spam forwarded to us from Cap. Thanks, Cap! I threw up only four times! Following that, we read Spider-Man vs. Santa Claus. And, of course, its by Comicsnix. Instant holiday classic. Then we read Metal Fixation, a South Park fic focused on some GOFF kids. No mention of MCR, but we were on warning watch for anything even remotely resembling My Immortal. I (Stevo) haven’t seen South park in over a decade so I had no idea things had gotten this bad in town. After wiping off the white foundation and black eyeliner, we got a little moist and read Slippery When Wet. Again, I have no frame of reference because I’ve never watched Transformers, but I definitely won’t be looking at my electronics the same way ever again. Charging port *shudder*. And finally, we wrapped up with Forbidden Nature. No idea what we were expecting going into a Family Guy fic, but uhhhhh….yeah, that shit was pretty fucked up.To subscribe to this show, please add the following RSS to your favorite podcast app: Friday Night Fanfiction – The Archives

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Season 2 Episode 12 – Dipples and Vipples

Nighthorse Media — Fri, 15 May 2015 20:12:52 +0000

Fanfics read: Brotherly Love (by jj1a) On Bio-Mass (by Twitchystitch) Sex in the City (by Hairy Gregory)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Roy, Brad, Kyle, Tony Referee: Val

The FNF crew are joined by Kyle (HeroMax), Brad, and Tony for a romping cartoon free-for-all, smashing your childhood and adulthood animated loves with sardonic sexual encounters! We start with “On Bio-Mass” an Adventure Time ficapalooza by Twitchystitch where Princess Bubblegum devours Finn in the most sensual way possible. Sexy servings of pseudoscience! We follow this up with “Sex in the City” by Hairy Gregory, a Powerpuff Girls fic not nearly as bad as Comicsnix’s “Naked Heart: In Soul of the Sun“. Trust us when we say the story’s ending joke is worth trudging through the moistness dealt by Blossom’s bereaved buttcrack. Finally, we tear up the Thundercats with some sibling seduction in jj1a’s “Brotherly Love“. It’s a lot better than watching middle school elective wrestling, and about as erotic.

Keep an eye on our facebook page for the mentioned mspaintporn once we have a chance to censor it for the eyes of the world. It’s too horrible in its native state… like dark matter… or taco bell.

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Season 2 Episode 11 – Jeremiah B.J.

Nighthorse Media — Fri, 08 May 2015 20:10:46 +0000

Fanfics read: Fevered Lust (by TurtleNinja) Dearest Daddy (by Tafyapyap) Sexy Bathtime (by Tafyapyap)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Roy, Arkais, Steve, SageZero Referee: Val

It’s POKÉMON NIGHT! We pay tribute to the franchise that’s provided Nintendo more money than all religions combined. It’s also a franchise that’s scarred us deeply in the past, and not from belligerently filling up My Pokémon Ranchwith Pidgeys to get that legal Mew. No, in the time before Friday Night Fanfiction we succumbed to the torture Megadeth425’s “Solaceon Daycare’s Excellent Adventures“. Now, like a vet returning to ‘Nam, we return to the world of Pokémon to exorcise those demons.

Joining us are Arkais, SageZero, and Steve VS. We start with TurtleNinja’s “Fevered Lust“, a nice, down-home gym leader yaoi fic with Brojobs. Then, we get wet with Tafyapyap’s “Sexy Bathtime“. (Reading in vaguely European accents helps a lot!) Finally, we go beyond the beyond with another Tafyapyap tale: “Dearest Daddy“, which… Well, it’s definitely not a good Father’s Day gift.

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Season 2 Episode 10 – Remember That Time Aku Dressed Like a Girl & Ordered Pizza?

Nighthorse Media — Fri, 01 May 2015 20:08:29 +0000

Fanfics read: Fevered Lust (by TurtleNinja)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Roy, Val, boR, Neofaust Referee: Val

It’s a Nerdy Show Network crossover! We’re joined by the Derps from Derpy Show – boR and Neofaust come on to clear the air with decidedly lighter fare than our recent… ordeals. Tonight we read a Samurai Jack fic by TurtleNinja called “Fevered Lust“, where our perverse banter inspired by the story endds up dirtier than the fic itself. TurtleNinja gives us a sensual, honorable love story involving Tomoe and a virginal Samurai Jack. He’s fighting an Infection (always capitalized since its probably a proprietary CW or something), and poor Tomoe assists the only waya woman shoehorned into a plot by a mediocre writer can.

Also everyone should buy Patapon. That game is good no matter what anyone else says.

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Season 2 Episode 9 – Fat Albert’s Breast Nipples

Nighthorse Media — Fri, 24 Apr 2015 20:02:53 +0000

Fanfics read: Dating Season (by HKMiller) Dr Gregory House vs Edward Elric (by Miss Woodford) Naruto The Hypno Zapper (By HazardGallantmon) Until the End of Time (by gofer-chan)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Roy, Andrew, Deia Referee: Val

This week the FNF crew are joined by two old salts from our sordid past: Andrew and Deia, a.k.a. OA and DragonAvenger. To mark the occasion we hit up crossover fics of our roots!

House! Full Metal Alchemist! Anne Frank! Dragon Ball Z! Naruto! Warner Brothers! WAY TOO MANY TO LIST! Heck, we won’t even spoil them by going into further detail. Listen below and hit up the links following the player to read along. But, we’ll say this: we are issuing challenge for someone to draw Fat Albert in a microkini.

Yes. Please do that thing for us.

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Season 2 Episode 8 – Outback’s Blooming Wang Tire

Nighthorse Media — Fri, 17 Apr 2015 20:00:46 +0000

Fanfics reads: Kim Possible – Futa Hard (by Lord-Kellendros)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Roy, Steve, Deven Referee: Val

Our painful journey with Lord-Kellendros’ Kim Possible fic “Futa Hard” continues. We wrap up this soft, flimsy story that took us three hours to read what seemed to be about six minutes of actual smut, while also removing any erotic existential exemplary appeal due to consistently cascading colloquialisms categorized by awesomely abundant aural alliteration and more run-on sentences than you could shake a stick at were you to have a career in stick-shakery.

Chances are good you’ll never get a semi again.

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Season 2 Episode 7 – Meatball-Easy

Nighthorse Media — Fri, 10 Apr 2015 19:58:33 +0000

Fanfics read: He’s a Lady (by Loni) Kim Possible – Futa Hard (by Lord-Kellendros)

Readers: Val, David, Logan, Roy, Brad Referee: Stevo

This week we’re indulging bedroom role reversal. Stevo and Val swap reader/ referee and the crew takes on a crossdressing, yaoi-flavored Team Fortress 2 fic by Loni called “He’s a Lady” – featuring copious recitations of that one Tom Jones song. [Spoiler alert: no one on the crew can do a legit Scout voice. Those were as much of a train wreck as the story itself.] We chase that down with “Futa Hard” by Lord-Kellendros – a Kim Possible fic that truly does the impossible: makes sexy stuff mind-numbingly BORING! Seriously it has about as much action as 14 episodes of Dragon Ball Z (read: basically nothing happened of consequence) so we have our fun and leave that mess mid-stream.

Also, Pour one out in memory of last week’s podcast. It was legit eaten by The Lawnmower Man and drug screaming into digital hell. We’re attempting a seance but the dark arts are not to be taken lightly.

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Season 2 Episode 5 – Honk If You’re Horny For Spider-Man. BEEP BEEP.

Nighthorse Media — Wed, 25 Mar 2015 19:56:22 +0000

Fanfics read: Lessons Learned on Sesame Street (by The Camel Hump) Underwear (by Spug)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Roy, Shawn, Sir Splee, Chowder Referee: Val

Are you ready to be damaged goods? Forget spending years in an abusive courtship or watching Cannibal Holocaust for 24 hours – Friday Night Fanfiction is here! And they’ve brought brown party liquor!

Get tickled in New York’s happiest neighborhood with everyone’s favorite adorable monster, Elmo in the explicit Sesame Street tale “Lessons Learned on Sesame Street” by The Camel Hump. Then careen the 18-wheeler of your mind into a metaphorical ditch with the Homestar Runner slashfic “Underwear” by Spug and thrill to the musky flavors of HomestarXStrongBad.

Also featuring the best use of J. Jonah Jamison. Ever.

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Season 2 Episode 4 – Experiment P.E.E.N.

Nighthorse Media — Fri, 20 Mar 2015 19:47:43 +0000

Fanfics read: A Bone to Pick (by XtremePlaga) Big, Red and Angry (by The Mustard King) Why Couldn’t I Just be Dissected (by WDCain)

Readers: Stevo, David, Roy, Trench, Tony, Sir Splee Referee: Val

FNF is joined by venerable streaming duo Trench and Tony, along with Sir Splee to replace the invisible Logan for a three fanfic sexfest. First, one of the most genuinely off-putting Disney fanfics we’ve ever read (and this is coming the week after reading “Jasmine Cumslut“!). “A Bone to Pick” by XtremePlaga is… a Lilo and Stitch fanfic where experiment 628 gives Stitch Goro-Genetalia. It’s soft science at its worst!

Never fear – we follow that horror show up with WDCain’s genuinely hilarious “Why Couldn’t I Just Be Dissected?”, in which Danny Phantom’s mother finally catches the ghost-boy and plans on “experimenting” with him. And then we finish with the X-Men / Clifford the Big Red Dog fic you never knew you wanted, “Big, Red and Angry”by The Mustard King – featuring one of the funniest sex scenes to ever happen in the Marvel universe! Take it all the way down to brown town!

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Season 2 Episode 3 – Galdap/Bush 2016

Nighthorse Media — Thu, 12 Mar 2015 19:44:31 +0000

Fanfics read: A Fish out of Water – A Dungeons and Doritos Fanfic (by The Mustard King) Jasmine cumslut (by EclipsePheniox) THE NEWEST TURTLE (by Jay Friedman)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Roy, Hex, Cap Referee: Val

By the Anal Beads of Agamotto, we have quite the episode for you today! FNF is joined by our benefactors, friends, and kinky sex toys: Hex and Cap of Nerdy Show. Together we form a trifecta of terrible and summon the Republican magicks of Galdap to bring forth Jamela and Vimak of Dungeons & Doritos!

To mark the occasion, we conjure a Dungeons & Doritos fic which has apparently been hiding on the internet until now, “A Fish out of Water” by The Mustard King. Following that, we read Jay Friedman’s “THE NEWEST TURTLE”, where the author lives out every 90’s kids prepubescent ninja fighting fantasy. And, because this episode isn’t nearly filthy enough, we close with EclipsePheniox’s “Jasmine Cumslut”, which… well… its just terrible and ruins a shocking range of franchises simultaneously.

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Season 2 Episode 2 – Is Garfield Jewish?

Nighthorse Media — Sun, 08 Mar 2015 15:07:31 +0000

Fanfics read: The Garfield Bowl (by ShakespeareHemmingway) The Garfield Story (by ShakespeareHemmingway) Zero Dark Garfield (by ShakespeareHemmingway)

Readers: Stevo, David, Roy, Shawn, Brad, Steve Referee: Val

Garfield takes a front row seat for the Garfield Show starring Garfield as Garfield, Garfield, Garfield and Garfield have their guests Garfield, Garfield, and also Garfield (in a special appearance due to Garfield not being able to join us that evening) for a series of Garfield fics that are more Garfield than Garfield!

We read a triptych of Garfield fics by the incomparable author ShakespearHemmingway – First, a beautiful tale about artistic integrity and also Ebola as Garfield establishes his dominance as the world’s greatest artist in “The Garfield Bowl“. Then, things go into intrigue mode with the political terroristic thriller about Osama Bin Laden in “Zero Dark Garfield“. Finally, we revisit the core values of the holiday season as brought to you by “The Garfield Story“.

AMAKOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

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Season 2 Episode 1 – And We’re Back

Nighthorse Media — Fri, 27 Feb 2015 02:58:35 +0000

Fanfics read: Immortality in Fickle Affection (by Tekki and Vejiita4eva)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Roy Referee: Val

After a month hiatus/rehab following their reading of “Sonic in the Search for Love”, the FNF crew is back to kick off Season Two with a bang. Many bangs in fact – ’cause there’s some serious hyrda action going on in Hercule’s loins. “HERCULES.TXT” aka “Immortality In Fickle Affection” by Tekki and Vejiita4eva, is a Kingdom Hearts fic featuring gender bending, inappropriate kooshballs, and some of the most obvious Creative Writing Major material we’ve seen yet.

Join us, won’t you?

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Season 1 Episode 17 – Season 1 Recap

Nighthorse Media — Fri, 30 Jan 2015 02:35:08 +0000

Fanfics read: Faster Enterprise! … Kill! Kill! (By Jessica Leenstra)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Roy, Mike Referee: Val

The dust has cleared and all we can see is carnage and violated bodies for miles and miles. Our seven episode, marathon reading of “Sonic and the Search for Love” claimed many lives. So, like any good drinking binge, we end this season with a regurgitation of all that’s come before.

We walk down memory lane, back through all the ‘fics we read in Season 1, and share our favorite moments and personal choices for the best and worst. Plus we have a guest read a quick, terrible Star Trek: The Next Generation fanfic, “Faster, Enterprise…Kill! Kill!” by Jessica Leenstra.

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Season 1 Episode 16 – The End

Nighthorse Media — Fri, 23 Jan 2015 02:27:03 +0000

Fanfics read: Sonic in the Search for Love (by Krezz)

Readers: Stevo, Logan, Roy, Shawn, Brad, Val Referee: Val

WE DID IT! WE DID IT! WE DID IT! WE DID IT! WE DID IT! WE DID IT! WE DID IT! WE DID IT! WE DID IT! WE DID IT! WE DID IT! WE DID IT! WE DID IT! WE DID IT! WE DID IT! WE DID IT! WE DID IT! WE DID IT! WE DID IT! WE DID IT! WE DID IT!

We finished “Sonic in the Search for Love“!

After seven episodes of unimaginable torment, our alcohol-fueled journey through the torture of Krezz’s Sonic the Hedgehog fanfic has ended. There was much rejoicing… and sudden projectile vomiting.

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Season 1 Episode 15 – Bubblecum

Nighthorse Media — Fri, 16 Jan 2015 02:18:07 +0000

Fanfics read: Sonic in the Search for Love (by Krezz)

Readers: Stevo, Roy, Val, Tony, Beth, Cyril Referee: Val

Our sixth installment in the never-ending nightmare of Krezz’s “Sonic in the Search for Love“. We’ve lost contact with the FNFcrew, all we found was a journal in the scorched remains of an old library:

“January 12th, 2015.

Nope. No description. Not even worth doing it. Life is pain, life is misery. SONIC IS THE ILLUMINATI. We are all under his spell, and we can not break free. I know not what sin I have committed to be relegated to this eternal purgatory. All I know is that, like Dante, I must press forward into the foul depths and not turn back. I must descend into the abyss in order to reach my promised paradise.

Godspeed to us all.”

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Season 1 Episode 14 – Brown Hair, Green Eyes, and Brown Hair

Nighthorse Media — Sun, 11 Jan 2015 02:13:44 +0000

Fanfics read: Sonic in the Search for Love (by Krezz)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Roy, Cap, Shawn, Spencer, Steve, Brad Referee: Stevo & Val

Another week, another trudge through the swamp of sadness that is Krezz’s “Sonic in the Search for Love“. We never knew pain until this terrible journey. We used to drink to dull the pain, now we drink to annihilate all sense of self. Only in being completely and utterly nullified can we endure this hell. Hairy eyeballs! Are you not entertained!?

Seriously, drink responsibly.

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Season 1 Episode 13 – “Cya Latter Sweaty Pie”

Nighthorse Media — Fri, 02 Jan 2015 02:12:43 +0000

Fanfics read: Sonic in the Search for Love (by Krezz)

Readers: David, Logan, Roy, Valerie, Shawn, Spencer, Tony, Deven Referee: Stevo

We’re lost in the abyss of Krezz’s “Sonic in the Search for Love“, chapter 5. This might be the halfway point… we think. It’s hard to remember life before this started.

The FNF crew meets post-Xmas and pre-New Year to barrel through technical glitches and drink in the horror and wonderment of this abysmal fanfic. These might be sentences in some bizarre alternate universe’s English. Maybe. Anything is possible at this point.

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Season 1 Episode 12 – The Eye of The Storm

Nighthorse Media — Sat, 27 Dec 2014 02:11:35 +0000

Fanfics read: Sonic in the Search for Love (by Krezz)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Roy, Shawn, Steve, Spencer, Valron Referee: Val

Part 3 in our dire battle with one of the worst fanfics of all-time, Krezz’s “Sonic in the Search for Love“. Last episode, the story began devolving as the author revised his earlier chapters. Now, we’re hitting really choppy waters with additional chapter revisions and the infamous chapter 5 – the longest chapter in the entire story. We’re in the center of a genuine shitstorm here, folks.

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Season 1 Episode 11 – When There’s Nudity, He’s There Dutily!

Nighthorse Media — Sun, 21 Dec 2014 02:10:25 +0000

Fanfics read: Sonic in the Search for Love (by Krezz)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Roy, Shawn, Brad, Chowder, Val, Steve Referee: Val

The Nighthorse crew continue their valiant battle against one of the raunchiest fanfics out there, Krezz’s “Sonic in the Search for Love”. In this episode, we hit the milestone moment when Krezz starts backtracking on his work. Yes – this is the work of a madman. We have now reached his third revision of Chapter One. Our food and supplies are running low, and we are at the mercy of the elements. It’s uncertain how much longer we can hold out before cannibalism becomes a viable option. Heaven only knows how we’re going to survive…with everyone…

We should have never opened that damn book. We should have listened to that gypsy and her warning about the curse. As long as the lights stay on, we should be able to-

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Season 1 Episode 10 -“Gary Busey Approves”

Nighthorse Media — Fri, 12 Dec 2014 02:08:15 +0000

Fanfics read: COLD AND DARK DO GO WELL TOGETHER a cautoionary tale for illuminated magical dickhole sex (by japastiel) Sonic in the Search for Love (by Krezz)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Roy, Shawn, Brad, Tony, Spencer, Beth, Steve Referee: Stevo

This is the big one – Krezz’s legendary slashfic nightmare: “Sonic in the Search for Love“. To divulge much more would be to spoil the horrors that await, but suffice it to say: this was the fanfic that nearly killed FNF before FNF was FNF. Our previous incarnation, Overclocked After Dark, got barely halfway through reading this story, so we’re starting from scratch and finishing it before this season of Friday Night Fanfiction ends.

Before things went South, we felt it was best to prep our palette with another fic. Prior to our first slice at “Sonic”, we read a downright romantic story featuing characters from the 2012 CGI film Rise of the Guardians and the best cameo of Gary Busey ever, “Cold and Dark Do Go Well Together” by japastiel. Just wait ’til you hear this story’s subtitle. Hint: it’s hella hot.

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Season 1 Episode 9 – Groinsaw

Nighthorse Media — Sat, 06 Dec 2014 02:05:52 +0000

Fanfics read: HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (by Secondpillow) Like Like Likes Little Link (by Ignatious)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Roy, Shawn, Chowder, Steve, Valerie Referee: Valerie

Oh boy, oh boy… we can’t aptly describe tonight’s first tale, “Like Like Likes Little Link” by Ignatious, but we’ll try… It’s a bloody, disgusting, two-chapter horror-fest involving young Link from Ocarina of Time and various monsters. It’s probably the most violent thing we’ve ever read, and it tries to make it SEXY. Absolutely terrifying stuff – not for the faint of heart. This one nearly broke Stevo. Seriously, he’s never yelled so much in a ‘fic before.

We decided to follow up that heavy read with a lighthearted, existential Harry Potter romp known as… lots of frigging H’s. (Seriously, the story’s called “HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” by Secondpillow) This was voted one of the BEST fanfics we’ve ever read. You could say it’s an extremely polarizing episode. At the very least, we know this: only accept American Cockstitution. Accept no substitutes.

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Season 1 Episode 8 – “Ugh”

Nighthorse Media — Fri, 28 Nov 2014 01:56:52 +0000

Fanfics read: Kirby’s Engagement (by SonicMaster5000) Painfully Lustful (by Anne Oni Mouse) Zelda swallowed by a snake (by TBoneTony)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Roy, Shawn, Brad, Chowder, Valerie Referee: Valerie

The crew take on some ‘fics loosely connected to Super Smash Bros., what with the recent release on the Wii U and all. First up is a scintillatingly sensual look at how erotic it is to be fingerbanging oneself while asphyxiating in a snake’s acidic digestive track in TBoneTony’s opus “Zelda Got Swallowed by a Snake“. Thrill as Stevo makes the mistake of making each “ugh” worth a drink – a decision he regrets very quickly… and deeply.

Next we dive in to a direct Smash Bros. fanfic where Bowser and Dedede get out some aggression, as well as some sexual stimulation, in Anne Oni Mouse’s “Painfully Lustful“. Some very descriptive blood here! We all know that’s what the good stuff is made out of.

And finally, we take on “Kirby’s Engagement” by SonicMaster5000, which follows Kirby and Ribbon (from Kirby 64) getting engaged and consummating their romance. As David so aptly puts it, “Merry Scatmas.”

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Season 1 Episode 7 – I’ll Do Whatever You Want, Sexy Burger

Nighthorse Media — Sat, 22 Nov 2014 01:53:21 +0000

Fanfics Read: Halflife Fulllife Consequences (by squirrelking) Halflife Fulllife Consequences Free Man (by squirrelking) Halflife Hero Beggining (by squirrelking) HalflifeFullLife Consequences 2WhatHasTobeDone (by squirrelking) Round 2 (The sequel to One different step) (by Sabbs)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Roy, Brad, Shawn, Steve, Valerie Referee: Valerie, et. al

In this episode, the Nighthorse crew power through the Internet classic, the “Half-Life: Full Life Consequences Quadrilogy” by Squirrelking. Join us as cry falls out of us for the woeful tale of John Freeman who was Gordon Freeman’s brother! THEN, because that wasn’t enough to satiate our wanton loins, we return to the muscular machinations of Sabbs’ Kim Possible fanfic in “Round 2“. (We read the first part, “One Different Step” in this episode.) …Things get a little Dead-Alive all up in Kim’s great expanse!

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Season 1 Episode 6 – I Got a Ton-er for Dean Thomas

Nighthorse Media — Thu, 13 Nov 2014 18:17:45 +0000

Fanfics Read: Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles (by proudhousewife) Cheese dies! (by Daisycheesecakex) Cloud Mows The Lawn (by Rasso) Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Roy, Shawn, Brad, Tony, Garret Referee: Val In this episode, we finished up Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles. I won’t spoil the ending, but it was more Inception than Interstellar (which I haven’t seen yet so you know it’s true). Stevo, in lieu of a musical interlude, redesigns part of the story Dr. Seuss style, and David impresses all with his Texas accent. Tony does a better Texas accent, though. Then we read the entirety of Cheese Dies!, which apparently was based on Fosters Home for Imaginary Friends. After reading this, I have even less of a desire to find out what that show was about. And finally, we had to conclude with something sexy, so we read Cloud Mows the Lawn. A tale of grass, mowing, and turd turd.To subscribe to this show, please add the following RSS to your favorite podcast app: Friday Night Fanfiction – The Archives

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Season 1 Episode 5 – Pillow; Fart;

Nighthorse Media — Thu, 06 Nov 2014 18:15:38 +0000

Fanfics Read: Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles (by proudhousewife)

Readers: Stevo, Logan, Roy, Shawn, Brad, Steve, Beth, Chowder Referee: Val In this Halloween follow up, we begin reading the recently-concluded Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles. This was brought to the internet’s attention because a supposed housewife wanted to have her children enjoy the Harry Potter books without any of that nasty old magic or witchcraft. Being the conservative Christian that she is, she re-wrote Harry Potter into a 14-chapter suckfest with way too many made up adverbs and some of the worst characterization coherent fanfiction has ever seen. Enjoy it, enjoyingly! We read up to chapter 8 this time, and will finish it up next week.To subscribe to this show, please add the following RSS to your favorite podcast app: Friday Night Fanfiction – The Archives

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Season 1 Episode 4 – “Hyper-Realistic”

Nighthorse Media — Fri, 31 Oct 2014 18:12:02 +0000

Fanfics Read: Gamerz Fantasy VIII (by The Playing Mantis) Normal Porn for Normal People Squidward’s Suicide Super Mario 128

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Roy, Steve, Shawn, Brad, Deven Referee: Valerie In this SPOOPY POOPY Halloweeners episode, we read three of the scariest creepy-pastas known to the internet: Squidward’s Suicide, Normal Porn for Normal People, and Super Mario 128. Then, when we were sufficiently relaxed from reading things that were not at all frightening, we finished up part 3 of Gamerz Fantasy VIII! THAT shit was scary, yo.To subscribe to this show, please add the following RSS to your favorite podcast app: Friday Night Fanfiction – The Archives

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Season 1 Episode 3 – Cause I’m Fucking That Dog Peen

Nighthorse Media — Thu, 23 Oct 2014 18:07:16 +0000

Fanfics Read: Gamerz Fantasy VIII (by The Playing Mantis) Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Roy, Chowder, Shawn, Cameron Referee: Valerie In this we read part 2 of Gamerz Fantasy VIII. Stevo makes a Queen homage with lyrics about horrible dog penises, we discuss the John Madden Football Nativity Scene, and Selphie gets it on with the knotted cocks of Cerberus. We still have most of Part 3 to go next week, but we can kinda already tell that this is a one-note story, just with multiple monsters.To subscribe to this show, please add the following RSS to your favorite podcast app: Friday Night Fanfiction – The Archives

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Season 1 Episode 2 – You Stuck Your Dick in Crazy

Nighthorse Media — Thu, 16 Oct 2014 18:05:18 +0000

Fanfics Read: Gamerz Fantasy VIII (by The Playing Mantis) Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Shawn, Brad Referee: Valerie Since it seems like the show made it past the pilot episode without getting canceled (THANKS, CAP!), the crew followed up with Episode 2, where they spent the whole time reading part 1 of Gamerz Fantasy VIII. In part 1, the author spends a good amount of time building up character and backstory before trapping Selphie with two Minotaur brothers (named Minotaur and Sacred, how creative) who then spent record time giving her stockholm syndrome in order to ravage her questionably-aged body. This is apparently how people get Guardian Forces in Final Fantasy VIII. I wouldn’t know, I’ve never played it, and if this story is any indicator of what the game consists of, I’m glad I haven’t played it.To subscribe to this show, please add the following RSS to your favorite podcast app: Friday Night Fanfiction – The Archives

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Season 1 Episode 1 – Jazz Hands Scrotum

Nighthorse Media — Fri, 10 Oct 2014 18:00:39 +0000

Fanfics Read: Cloud and Tifa search for a New Heart (by ComicsNix)

Rocket Raccoon And Ghazan: A Passion That Transcends The Limits Of The (by Eogrus)

One Different Step (by Sabbs)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Roy, Steve V.S., Cap, Referee: Valerie

On the inaugural episode of Friday Night Fanfiction, the brave Nighthorse boys tackled not one, not two, but three stories in one night!

First up was Cloud and Tia search for a New Heart, a Final Fantasy 7 story where Cloud and Tifa realized that they could use the Phoenix materia to bring Aeris back from making afterlife babies to skeleton fist Tifa.

Second was Rocket and Ghazan: A Passion That Transcends The Limits Of The. This one is a crossover between Avatar: The Last Airbender and Guardians of the Galaxy, with a depressed Rocket having some sensual manloving with Ghazan after traveling through dimensions or something.

And finally, One Different Step is a Kim Possible fanfic where Shego and Kim put on muscle rings and suffer the insult of having self-sustaining orgasms while oil wrestling. Somehow, Shego gets her entire arm in Kim’s vagoonie.

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